Even though i fight it with all my might, i always tend to be slightly controlled by my inner hypochondriac. this whole summer so far has been punctuated by a series of not even mildly serious but annoying health problems...leading up to the inevitable fate of getting my wisdom teeth removed. Here is a story from yesterday:

I had an oral surgeon appointment at 9 am, which was already difficult because i had seen my friends' band play the night before (www.myspace.com/redsailsband...check them out), and i was hungover enough to have a rough time getting out of bed. So i'm in the office (which is in a hilarious art deco building on 57th and madison, i felt really cool entering, like i was back in time, ignoring the fact that i was only going to the oral surgeon) and this lady's like, "your insurance won't cover this" and i was like "what?" and she was like "its gonna cost you $300 dollars for a consultation" and i was like "oh...great". So i finish filling out all this information and then finally (its now 9:45...cause the insurance problem set me back) the nurse says "Right this way." So i follow her into a teeny tiny consultation room (after an x-ray from a monster sci-fi machine) that has shelves with all these tempting books with titles like "Largely Deformed Tumors of the Face" and "Guide to Impactions" and i'm like, "shit...damn...what am i getting myself into". I sit down on the dentist chair and she leans it back so i'm comfortable and says, "the doctor will be in in a minute". So i just sit and think about how it would feel to wake up from anaesthesia in the middle of getting your wisdom teeth out, and eventually i kind of drift off not noticing that i've kind of curled up in the dentist chair and fallen asleep. At one point i jolt awake because the nurse has come back in but only to retrieve a skull from on top of the bookshelf (with great difficulty because its jaw had come disconnected and was lost somewhere). apparently the doctor wanted to demonstrate to another patient what would happen after too many facial procedures or something. So she leaves and i wait some more and of course fall asleep again until i get jolted awake again by a voice saying "hello!". I look up and there's the doctor who's like, a 6'7" Scandinavian giant, and i really hope he didn't see me sleeping. he's like "okay lets see whats going on here and looks at my teeth and he says "yep! all four need to come out!" He gives me this prepared speech about what the procedure entails of and i just nod my head still half asleep. Then he leaves and i'm like, "that was it?" i look at my watch and its 10:45, which means i was asleep for at least 45 minutes. So i go out to pay for it to this little room with an equally little man who writes me prescriptions for premedication and pain relief and stuff and gives me a twenty minute speil about what i'll feel after the procedure...and a scary scary cost estimate...and there are pictures on the wall of barry manilow and some other hilarious looking people. I finally leave, back through the crazy art deco lobby, and its now almost 11:30, and i feel like i just had some kafka/david lynch mega super surreal weird dream experience. and then i go to the japanese pastry store on 49th just to get some of that out of my head (only i also thought it was all hilarious).

so...basically if this was the consultation i am really really scared for the procedure.