If art fairs were parties, it would be an equal amount of work

This week I did some things and found out some things.

One thing I found out was that we got dumped by trago a couple of days before out party. What a bunch of cactuses. It turns out that artists actually DON'T love tequila or margaritas. Oh well.

Something else I did was research carbon dating for Devon. Needless to say, I'm not a chemist (well, in the traditional sense). In the process I found out that it IS possible to date wool. Young wool, if fact. Wool that would be considered a baby in the spectrum of carbon dating. Luckily, "Niney" wasn't made between 1750 and 1950 AD. In this period, there was a lot of C14 fluctuation in the atmosphere. Well, of course there was. At least I got my email framed. I don't think that will ever happen again.

It's difficult to not laugh will mockingly filming people at The Armory. I hope nobody at The Armory gets a hold of this statement, otherwise we may not be invited back to sample delcious screwdrivers, wine, and hors d'ouevres (sp?). I better watch my mouth What is said in the office stays in the office.

Hey, kids, guess what? There's a new addiction, better than the internet! It's called cut-out-stickers-and-stick-them-on-condoms! It's exactly what it sounds like! And it's nearly impossible to quit! So long cigarettes, hello COSASTOC!!!

Oh, and will somebody please remind Devon to put the Black Label in the refrigerator and the fruit in the microwave? Thanks.

Good Luck,
Anonymous

Nothing is fucked here

Last minute party planning sure is a necessary evil.

It's been a stressful day and I got banned from using the paper cutter because I have a strange need to put my finger on the blade. It's a subconsious thing, I don't really wish to discuss it in this open forum. I also got banned from using Quark because I'm incompetant with computers.

I also would like to mention that I have a flu and am achy and sweaty. I have insurance, so therefore I shouldn't get sick.

Well that's all for now, blog readers,
Love,
The Anonomous intern

damn snow

Wednesday Syracuse got a couple feet of snow dumped on it, so I couldn't drive down until yesterday. Downstate NY does not appear to know how to deal with snow. Part of Route 17 was barely plowed and was not salted.

Anyways, today I prepared a bunch of mail and did more Photoshop stuff. I found pictures of gallery owners, changed them into black and white, and then colored their hair all kinds of crazy colors. They're going to go on the bottles of Arrojo shampoo and conditioner that's going in gift bags (or maybe in another pinata, I'm not entirely sure).

I am hungry. Time to get some pizza.

Yum!

let's invite everyone in new york to our armory party and see what happens...

...we're going to need more tequila.

right now everyone is just trying to console anna after the recent t news of vh1 classics departure. i've already signed her up for aa.

wise advice from devon: if someone's giving away booze for free, try to get as much as you can while you still can. this is a lesson to take to heart.

i'm sure evryone's very excited to see what sort of characters will be in the a armory party. well, you'll just have to wait for the invitation (if you're invited).

does anybody actually read this thing? if so, leave a comment to keep up moral. in outer space, nobody can hear you scream.

Bad Idea

It may sound cool, but interning with a hangover is not awesome.

You win this round copy machine.

long day...

Have not updated in a while...

Last Friday Anna and I left early to go to some galleries in Chelsea. We saw some fantastic photography in one gallery (that I of course failed to write down the name of, I have got to work on that). There were a whole bunch of bright, colorful portraits (about 10 by 10 inches) of children, but none of the kids were looking directly at the camera, and most weren't centered either. I thought the off-centeredness made the pictures look more natural and spontaneous. I also have a thing for off-kilter stuff in pretty much any visual art (drawings, paintings, prints, what have you). Also in the same gallery were some larger photos (like three by five feet?) of messy tables after people had finished eating. Each photo centered on a section of a table, most covered in a white or cream tablecloth, upon which might be a dessert plate with remnants of cake, or a couple pieces of silverware, some crumbs spread around or a round wine stain, etc. They were sort of voyeuristic, but lovely in their simplicity, and somehow comforting and cozy (particularly one that featured a saucer with what looked like a half-eaten slice of wedding cake left on it... so sweet).

Yesterday I found a specific Ikea bed on Craig's List for Devon. But with delivery fees, it's now costing more than if we just drove to Ikea and bought a new one. In fact, we're waiting for the delivery people to get here right this minute. They're taking forever.

Anna and I also went to Kai Kuhne's fashion show yesterday. The basic-looking stuff was really pretty, like a short fur coat over a minidress and a red satin minidress with a full trench coat. But then there was some weird stuff, like a mini bubble dress made of feathers. Scary. Plus the model was flapping her arms and wobbling when she walked, which made her look like a huge, fat bird.

Today we picked up the Arrojo hair products for the release party gift bags. Free stuff--yay! I won't have to buy shampoo again for the next year. I also laid out a mock zingrecommends website with ads on it, so that we can show advertisers what it'll look like if they buy ads on the site. I also laid out a collage of photos from past zing parties. I am the Photoshop master.

It is after 8 o'clock. Why am I still here?

i'm at a loss for words, but...

rachel cole failed the "guess the intern contest." way to go , rachel..

One hundred lbs of shampoo later, i can still remember spanish well enough to let devon know when galeria sequeiros is open. thank you high school.

"elementary my dear watson"
"no shit, sherlock"

the end.

p.s.
armory party's coming up...prince is playing at halftime, so bring your dewrags.

Best soft rock song of the day...

That's the funniest thing said today.

The magazine world is so exciting!! I put away packing materials we keep recieving.
I looked up restaurants for some reason (it's a industry secret-sorry reader).
I also ordered more condoms, we got 10% off because we have ordered from there before.
The first condom order wasn't up to par.

My sweater is too tight. I don't look good, I look like a muppet pickle (my sweater's green-like a pickle and furry like a muppet!!).

That's it for now.

Love,
the anonymous intern

PS the best soft rock of the day was Jewel's Foolish Games per Anna, I think it was Neil Diamond. There will be blood shed later when I tell her.

I'm writing this out of total anonimity.

Today we watched The Warriors. However, Devon called from Mexico to say Warriors is a no go and that it hasn't rained there in seven years. Don't ask me.

The tequila is all set for our Armory party. As we all know, artists LOVE tequila. Mary said that it's really easy to get free beer. I'm going to have a go at getting my next party sponsored by Budweiser 24 oz. Everyone's invited. Even Dan Asher.

Hasta la vista, babies.

Seriously, It's cold

It hurts to breathe.
I normally like to run errands for the magazine but today it was not fun.
The condoms I ordered are the wrong shape, not the classic circle, but a lame oval. Damn.

Besides from the weather and the condoms I can't complain, but I will find something to irritate me soon.

I'm going to a fashion show tonight. I hope I get free stuff.

sex ed can be fun

I spent the majority of today finding pictures to print on the condom wrappers for the release party. (The condoms will be in a pinata!) They're all going to have pieces of art or photos of the artists. My favorites are these ones:

This is a painting by Dan Colen. I read online that some of his "spray-paint" pictures are actually painted by hand to look like spray paint, but I have no idea whether this particular one is done by hand or not.

This is a piece by Tracey Emin. I thought it was appropriate for a condom wrapper, especially with Valentine's Day not far off. Plus it just looks cool.


But this one is even more appropriate. It's by Terence Koh and is called "Big White Cock." HA! I love it.

These are going to be awsome. I may just have to snag one of each, especially with 15 different artists to choose from.